The Chronicles of Janie

And by 'love' I mean 'laugh at'. Love too, of course, but definitely laugh. It's the only thing that keeps me from bashing my head against the wall in frustration. Today's bout of nervous laughter came from the website Now the End Begins  *cue scary music*. People, we ARE LIVING IN THE END TIMES! Fo' sho'! How do we know? Well, OBVIOUSLY because of what's happening in American politics! *snort* Don't you just love these folks' humble attitudes? America has lost her moral standing, so therefore it must be the end of the world*! Umm, excuse me for a moment while I take a reality break...erm...check. Do you realize we're not the first to believe this about our country? For centuries, humanity has been convinced that it was living in the end times. Of course, now we can look back from the smugly comfortable passage of years and realize that humanity was wrong. We can grin at the people who, with varying degrees of certainty, p...

I am happy when I take pictures. I am happy when I write poetry. I am happiest when I do both. When I take a picture, I am looking at something as it is. I see the surface truth of things. When I write poetry, I explore what a thing may be - the possibilities and perceptions. Together with the truth of God's Word, poetry and photography present an excellent lens through which to explore the world. I like the person I become when I write and shoot photos. I become a person who notices things - simple, tiny, everyday things - in a new way. I stop. I take time to observe, to listen, to learn and think. It's really rather like a treasure hunt. I never know what I'll find once I start looking. The difficulty is that it's far too easy to abandon the hunt, to stop looking, to rush through life with my eyes closed. Then I become a person who is dissatisfied, ungrateful, and utterly unobservant. I do not like that person at all. When I enter a room without noticin...

I have been thinking a lot of long and somewhat disjointed thoughts lately. Many of them have been on the subject of joy - what it means to live joyfully and to have the joy of the Lord as my strength. I am frequently a happy person, but lately I've found myself thinking and living in a way that is far from joyful. I don't want that. I want my joy back. I'm not sure if I've managed to grasp just how imperative the joy of the Lord is to my life as a Christ follower, but I know that it's very, very important. I know that my deep, unfailing joy, regardless of circumstances, should indicate to the world that I'm a part of something special. I know that my closeness to, and utter dependence upon, God should bring me joy, and that this joy should, in its turn, draw me into a deeper relationship with God. I am fully aware that I have never experienced true joy unless I was in the presence of God. Basically, I've concluded that my lack of joy and my lack of c...

I had to chuckle when I saw this on Facebook. Apparently, complaining about Monday has become the trendy thing to do. Or maybe it always has been, and I just never noticed it before. Whatever the case, I am glad that the Monday blues have not yet caught up with me.  Even when I was a child, living in dread of the well-hated mathematics, I rather enjoyed Mondays. I like the feel of getting back into the well-worn routine of things. After two days of relaxation, it's good to have the solidity of a Monday to fall back upon. What's your favorite day of the week?

'When they came to Capernaum, those who collected the double-drachma tax approached Peter and said, "Doesn't your Teacher pay the double-drachma tax?" "Yes", he said. When he went into the house, Jesus spoke to him first, "What do you think, Simon? Who do earthly kings collect tariffs or taxes from? From their sons, or from strangers?" "From strangers," he said. "Then the sons are free," Jesus told him. "But, so we won't offend them, go to the sea, cast in a fishhook, and take the first fish you catch. When you open the mouth you'll find a coin. Take it and give it to them for Me and you." At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Then He called a child to Him and had him stand among them. "I assure you," He said, "unless you are converted and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore...

I tend to accumulate piles of things around my favorite sitting places. One of my favorite places to sit is on my bedroom floor, with my back against the hide-a-bed, so there's an almost-permanent collection of frequently used possessions scattered around the area. One night, as I was trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep, I started wondering how much that pile says about me. Just by looking at that pile, how much could a person tell about my personality and habits? One inescapable conclusion would be that I love tea and candles. Even when my bedroom is squeaky-clean,  there are a coaster, candle, teabag holder, and lighter sitting out on the little white table in front of the hide-a-bed. Usually, there's also at least one my favorite teacups in the area. Other almost-permanent features are my Bible and whatever Bible study guide I'm currently ignoring. These two books spend far more time in my 'floor spot' than they do in their official 'put away' place. Wh...

I recently finished reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill. It is a book that covers the role of the Irish in preserving the heritage of Western civilization during the period of barbarian unrest between the fall of Rome and rise of the Middle Ages. It is a fascinatingly well-written and engaging book that I would highly recommend. I found lots of food for thought throughout the book, but the last section of the last chapter was especially thought-provoking. In it, Cahill takes a look at our modern world through the lens of history, and gifts us with a few of his thoughts. I can't say that I agree 100% with his spin on things, but his thoughts are definitely worth the thinking.    'As we, the people of the First World, The Romans of the twentieth century, look out across our Earth, we see some signs for hope, many more for despair. Technology proceeds apace, delivering the marvels that knit our world together - the conquering of diseases that plagued ev...

Just another piece of God's world-sized heartbreak that has come my way: The words 'sex' and 'industry' should never be combined. Ever. The bare mention of this combination makes me feel incredibly sad. Everything about it is just so...wrong. My heart goes out to everyone involved in this industry: 'buyers'...'sellers'...'merchandise'...they're all made in God's image, and as such, I'm called to love and serve them the way Jesus would. The question is, 'how would He?' How should I? How should the church? Just one more thing to keep praying about, I suppose. Here's one of the things that got me started thinking about all of this in the first place .

A series of really, really random thoughts I had this evening: I have noticed that each family has its own unique scent. It's a combination of environment, habits, hygiene, personal care products, detergent, and diet that is unique to each family unit. The sign that you're growing up is when you start to develop your own scent...you begin buying a different brand of shampoo than the one your mom uses, you start eating more meals away from home, you spend more and more time away from your home environment. When two people marry, their two scents combine with a new environment and different habits to create a completely new scent...a completely new identity. That strikes me as a kinda awesome and symbolic thing to think about. I wonder if it's possible to create an infinite amount of new scents, or whether there is a limit to how many family scents there are. I wonder if an two people smell exactly alike. I wonder what my smell is (I was raised with it, so I don'...

Guilt. Anger. They seem to be popping up a lot lately. Not in my life, but in other peoples'. A conversation with a friend here, a blog post there. The recurring theme seems to be that people feel guilt and anger over having so much when most of the rest of the world has so little. They feel awful every time they spend money, because all they can think about are the people who are dying of hunger. I just sit there, listening and nodding, and thinking 'been there, done that, got the T-shirt'. The process began more than a year ago...in Africa... I really wasn't surprised by the poverty I saw in Moz. I was expecting to see it. I was more startled by the joy and life I saw springing up in the midst of, to my western mind, unthinkable circumstances. But, the fact remained that I did encounter a lot of people who were in very legitimate need. I did my best to help them. I'm sure that my tiny efforts barely made a dent, but I tried to be faithful to do whatever God l...

I look at the world around me. I listen to the news, to my friends, to my family. And, everywhere, I hear stories of sadness, see faces of despair...and my heart bleeds. I want to help, to heal, to love. I read Matthew 2: 17 - 18 'Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.' I think about the fact that all of this was prophesied so many, many long years before it actually happened, and then my mind ventures on to God. All those cries, all that heartbreak, all that despair have been echoing through His mind since before the beginning. I realize that God is God and I am human, but still, I wonder 'how can You stand it? How can You exist with the knowledge of every suffering past, present, and future before Your eyes?' Then the answer comes, like a gentle whisper to my troubled heart: 'Because I can also ...

We want closeness. We want accountability. We want deep, true, relationships. But where do these relationships have their start? With one person. One person opens their heart. One person shares their dreams. One person admits to problems and failures and fears. One person steps out on the thin ice of a relationship, becomes vulnerable, says 'I trust you.' Maybe that one person is you. Sometimes, you gather your courage into both hands, take the step of vulnerability...and the whole world slides out from beneath you. Your trust is thrown back into your face, your dreams are scorned, your weaknesses exploited. You are hurt, and frightened, and you retreat, vowing never to do that again. But it is not long until you feel the tug. You look into another person's eyes, and think you can see a kindred soul glimmering in the depths. You listen to another person's voice, and hear the ragged edge of pain and fear beneath their smoothly confident words. You see someone who n...

Finding 'the one' (this was meant to be read in a very grand and pompous voice - hence the italics). That's what many homeschool/Christian girls are focused on. They talk about, think about, pray about finding the guy that God wants them to marry. When they reach a certain age, many girls have prepared a list of things they're looking for in a husband. I'm no different than most girls in this area of my life, though I expect that I'm considerably less focused on the men than the majority of females my age. God, fictional characters, and hobbies take most of my mental energy, but the subject of guys and marriage does occasionally surface, as it did the other day during a conversation with one of my friends. My friend and I have very similar passions and pursuits, so it stands to reason that we're both looking (albeit not very hard) for somewhat similar guys. Neither of us live in expectation of finding 'Mr. Perfect' or 'Prince Charming', ...

Wind can not be fully enjoyed unless both eyes are  closed and both arms outstretched to embrace it. Praise from lips that praises seldom cross is truly worth having . The people I am most comfortable talking to are those I am comfortable being silent with.

Somewhere inside of me, in that mysterious place between soul and mind, there's a box. I think it looks rather like an old steamer trunk - nondescript and capacious - and an old-fashioned skeleton key stands in the lock, ready for the lightest thought to turn it. This old trunk is where I keep beautiful things. Memories, thoughts, songs...stored away in a golden jumble of emotions and laughter and awe. They are all there, gleaming nostalgically, ready to pour out at a moment's notice. The warm glow. The light of other days. Beauty and truth to illuminate seasons of gloom. The images of many people are in this box. People of varying skin colors and backgrounds, but all with one thing in common - the positive impact they've had on my life. Whether I've know them for ten years or ten hours, they've all contributed to making me a better person. I wish there was a way to let all of them know how wonderful they are... Words and phrases are also stored away. Some of...

Have you ever noticed that a lot of people regard themselves as being odd? I didn't become aware of this trend until I joined HSA, and started noticing that well over half of the blogs have the word 'odd' in the description. Maybe it's mainly a homeschooler thing, but I think that other pieces of society have also embraced the word 'odd'. People have taken to wearing the rather derogatory term as a badge of honor. 'Look at me! I'm odd! You want to get to know me 'cause 'odd' really means cool...or something.' Why is being 'different' so hip? Why do people want to stand out? For me, it's simply that I've gradually gotten the courage to be myself. I've always known that I'd stand out if I talked and dressed and acted the way I really wanted to. That used to terrify me, but now I've decided that when I feel the urge to dress like a gypsy or talk with a funny accent, I should just go for it. And you know what? P...

Have you ever stopped to consider the many different kinds of fear and bravery? I think there are as many definitions of bravery as there are people in the world. Most people are afraid of something, and therefore consider that the people who do those things must be very brave. Personally, I think that the bravest people are the ordinary, everyday folks who are afraid of a thing, yet face it and overcome it and go on. I think that the bravest people are those who do what needs to be done without fuss or complaint or praise. I have never considered myself a particularly brave person. I know how many varieties of fear plague me, and I know how many times I allow those fears to hold me back. There are many times when I despise myself as a miserable coward. Therefore, it comes as a big surprise when people comment on how brave I am. 'You ride horses? That's so brave!' 'You went to Africa and ate street food? That's so brave!' 'You've gone rappelling? That...

I'm not really sure where I'm trying to go with my photography and poetry anymore. I've decided that I just don't have enough ambition or determination to make it to the top (wherever that is). I don't care about fame or fortune, which is a good thing, because I doubt that I'd have the skill to achieve either of them. I have messed around with photography for several years now. I'm a fairly decent photographer. People say that they like my work. Maybe they're just being polite, or maybe they really do like it. But I think I've reached a point where I'm going to have to start investing a lot more money into my photography if I want to progress any more. Do I really want to do that? Is my photography even worth it? I have toyed with the idea of trying to publish some poetry, but I don't think that I really have the guts to try. I'm fairly certain that it would be rejected by a publisher, and I don't have the money to self-publish. ...

We couldn't Skype with Dad today. Mom and I both tried to call him - multiple times - but the call just wouldn't go through. So Mom (naturally) started wondering out loud why we couldn't get ahold of him. My thought: It's pretty amazing that we can get ahold of him at all! Think about it. He's in Japan. We're in the U.S.A. That's a 14 - hour time difference. We are separated by an ocean (North Atlantic or North Pacific, depending on how you look at it) and yet, we can both talk to and see each other pretty much any time we choose. Amazing, no? I think we tend to get pretty darn spoiled by our modern technology. We start to think that our priorities are of utmost importance, that the world revolves around us (because, most of the time, it does ), and that the things we want to accomplish have to be done immediately. I became painfully aware of this mindset while I was in Moz. The internet on the base there would pack its bags and leave nearly every time ...

Soo...I've been rather neglectful of this poor little blog. My neglect has not been caused by business or even a lack of things to write about. In fact, I have had several ideas for posts. I've thought about writing a post about how much I hate clothes shopping, or what I think about introverts, or how guilty I feel about spending money, but all these posts struck me as being too negative, or too self-centered, or too...something. So, I deleted them. Here is something I wrote awhile back. I briefly entertained the idea of writing a collection of my thoughts in book form, but decided that was a very silly, me-centric thing to do. So, here is the thought I had one day around twilight. Twilight    The bridegroom, the sun, is giving Earth a final kiss before stealing away and leaving her to the nursemaid, night. Earth heaves a contented sigh as she slowly succumbs to night’s sleep-spell. She is quiet and peaceful, content in the presence of her familiar nursemaid. ...