A New Chapter
I was content. Truly, I was. I had examined the prospect of living a steady, fairly normal life, and I had decided that it was possible. I could do it. I would do it. When I returned from Mozambique and asked God where He wanted to send me next, He'd clearly told me to remain in America. So I stayed, and I learned as much in the staying as I had in the going. But, after a few years, a restlessness broke through the calm; stirring the depths of my half-forgotten dreams and bringing all my memories back to vibrant life. I wasn't sure what to do with this sudden deluge of longing. I thought, 'I'm not supposed to want this any more...am I?' So, for a while, I fought. I fought to live in the present while my mind clung tenaciously to the past and my emotions lingered somewhere in between. I fought for reconciliation with the life I felt I must live. I fought for the old peace, the old joy, the old contentment. But, as they perpetually eluded my grasp, ...