Epic Tales in the Making

Why does this always happen to me? I walk innocently into Wal-Mart, and the alarms start going off. I joyfully go to get my free ice cream cone, only to discover that I've left the I.D. that enables me to get said cone behind. But at least I didn't get arrested for burglary at Wally World, and I managed to get my free cone, anyway, in spite of the lamentable lack of I.D. And all these experiences leave me with good stories to tell.