The Choice to Love; Part IV

Go HERE for links to parts I, II, and III

The Choice to Love; Part IV

Tired of the capacity for choice, I asked to be made to fall in love with Jesus. The Holy Spirit replied, "Don't you know that true love is always a choice?"

And then I realized that, of course, I was asking for the coward's way out. I was so tired of trying to choose Him that I wanted to be relieved of the responsibility of choice.

But blind obedience requires little bravery, and blind love is no true love at all.

He proved His love for me, even though He was fully aware of the horrific consequences. Now, He asks that I prove my love for Him, not by becoming mindless, sightless and choiceless, but by making a choice.

By being aware that His footsteps lead to a cross, but choosing to walk in them, anyway.

By knowing how much it will hurt to die to to myself, but asking Him to crucify me, anyway.

By being aware of the scorn, contempt, ridicule, judgment and hatred that surrounds those who obey Him, but obeying Him, anyway.

He is fully capable of snatching control and commanding my allegiance. But He desires me to offer it freely. 

I am still intensely uncomfortable with this, because I'm painfully conscious of my capacity for making selfish choices. I would far rather be the mindless slave of a loving and merciful King than an heiress with the ability to choose actions that will dishonor Him and cause detriment to others.

What if, one day, I stop desiring to choose Him?

What if, one day, I lack the courage to keep on trying?

What if I lose faith that my struggles are worthwhile and deliberately take the easy way out?

I may, perhaps, count up the cost and foolishly decide that He isn't worth the struggle. But long, long ago, He counted the cost and decided that I was worth deprivation, sorrow, and the cross.

Somehow, He has a plan that transcends my failures.

And somehow, His strength is made perfect in my weakness.