I Don't Know

I remember the time when I was worried about losing my childlike faith.

Now, sometimes, people probably worry that my faith has become too childlike.

I find myself saying 'I don't know' a lot.

And I've learned to be okay with that.

The more I get to know about God, the more I realize there are many, many things I will never be able to understand about Him. Not here on earth, anyway! But one of the main reasons (perhaps the main reason) God gives me faith is so that I can accept the things I don't understand. How can I accept a God who has perfect love and also perfect judgment? How can I accept an angry God who also sent His Son to die for my sins? Only, ever, through faith. Through admitting 'I don't understand, I can't comprehend...and so I will simply worship You.'

I see more and more clearly that I don't have to have the answers. I don't have to hide my human smallness behind an arsenal of long theological terms. I don't have to impress anyone. I don't have to be ashamed of not knowing.

But of course, not everyone sees it quite like that,"We have to have answers for these people!" They insist, "These people are searching, and asking, and if they ask you, you have to have something to tell them."

I have something to tell them. I can tell them that my God is huge. That He is far outside my range of human comprehension. That He is perfect in every way. I can admit that I don't understand Him, and I can also admit that that is alright. I can voice my conviction that, if I could understand Him, my God would be a pretty poor and puny thing to worship and entrust myself to.

This is not, and never should be, an excuse for me to be ignorant. I need to learn as much about God and the Bible as I can. But I also need to remember that my knowledge can only go so far. At some point it must stop, and then retreat, baffled, from the Unknowable.

I don't know much.

But I do know this: The perfect and incomprehensible God loves me, and I, in my feeble way, love Him. He is everything good, true, and wonderful, and I can trust Him with all things, in all things, and for all things.

That is, and always will be, enough.