Ruined Witness

I am imperfect.

I will let you down.

I won't always be here when you need me.

I won't always say the right things at the right times.

If you look closely at my life, you will see anger.

You will see fear.

You will see selfishness, pride, greed, insecurity.

You will see failure.

You will see me 'ruin my witness' countless times.

Please don't put me on a pedestal, because I'll surely tumble off and break.

In fact, I'm already broken.

My humanity is scored with a thousand cracks and scars and gouges.

It's ugly, and my natural desire is to hide my imperfections, to deny their existence.

But how can I hide something so hideous?

How can I deny something so obvious?

The hard truth is, I can't.

So I've stopped trying.

My 'righteousness', my 'perfection', will never be enough, so I'm simply allowing myself to be covered by the redeeming grace of God.

And each day, step-by-step, God's helping me look a little bit more like Him.

Each day, I succeed a little more in some areas...and frequently, fail a little more in some other areas.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Sometimes, I get tired of the process - this slow journey towards perfection that seems fraught with countless stumbles and detours.

I lose patience with myself. Why can't I just get this RIGHT?

Then God reminds me that 'all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.' (Rom. 8:28)

All things? Even my fear? Even my anger? Even my selfishness, pride, greed, and insecurity?

My failure used for good?

Yes.

Because God's power is strongest in my weakness.

Everyone fails. Everyone is broken.

But Light pours out through my broken places.

Why?

Because God is at work.

And He uses imperfect people.

Our successes and our failures are in His hands.

And He uses it all to show His power and glory to the world.

So...
Worship Him
Surrender to Him
Trust Him with your past, your present, and your future, your strength and your weakness, your success and your failure
Watch in awe as He changes you...and uses you to change the world.